there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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