No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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