yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
