found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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