He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
