Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
