So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
