Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
