my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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