Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
