I think my vagina is haunted
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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