She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
