I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
