I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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