a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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