I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
