He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
