hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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