my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize