I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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