'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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