Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
