Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
