Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
