like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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