Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
