He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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