well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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