Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
