dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
