Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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