I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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