She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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