Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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