WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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