Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my shit smells like andre
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
