8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize