He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
