We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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