Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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