How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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