God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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