I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Man, jail baloney is awful.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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