just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
