Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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(586): View more from Michigan

All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

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(254): View more from Texas

The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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(707): View more from California

then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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(310): View more from California

One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.

(616): View more from Michigan

I think you’re losing coherence.

(219): View more from Indiana

I am

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