why didn't you poke me back
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
