Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
