I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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