Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got chris browned last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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