my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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