normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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