As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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