wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize