how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How's work?
Spinning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
