I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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