Nicole vs. Life
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
