ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
