Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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