that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
