sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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