We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
