I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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