maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
