Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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